Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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