covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize