i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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