Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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