So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
