why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
