p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
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We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
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I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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