party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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