You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
