I accidentally had phone sex last night
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
