You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
