I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
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