These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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