Jerry, you need to find god
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
