Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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