i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i now understand why vodka
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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