Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
