wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
