i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
