well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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