All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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