It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
