i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
