Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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