it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
where are my eyebrows?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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