yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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