I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
