it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
