How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
