I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
