Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.

Fav 9 1429 3384
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(404): View more from Georgia

she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.

Fav 34 6105 968
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.

Fav 12 6209 1253
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(712): View more from Iowa

Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.

(714): View more from California

Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."

Fav 37 10358 2113
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(563): View more from Iowa

Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties

Fav 16 5611 1299
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(785): View more from Kansas

Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.

Fav 1 1909 801
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate

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(303): View more from Colorado

WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?

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