New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
