Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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