I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just want nice things and good sex
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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