i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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