I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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