I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
