Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
