Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
