We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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