So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
