mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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