she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
