Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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