I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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