It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
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I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize