she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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