is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
