I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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