shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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