It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
