Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Say something about gay babies.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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