How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
