I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
