Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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