The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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