normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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