Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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