This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
