I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
