Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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