Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
