I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
