i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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