scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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