Dual....:-)
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
