guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
