he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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