you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Drunk is a universal language darling
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