what day is it and did you see me today?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
